Setting Boundaries, Finding Healing with Khiara "Mills" Mills

Setting Boundaries, Finding Healing with Khiara "Mills" Mills

[00:00:00]

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Folks, welcome back to the exit interview, a podcast for black educators. It's me, your host, Dr. Asia. Um, folks, this is, I know you're not gonna believe this, but we're at the end of season five and we have one more special guest in season season five. Uh, Kira Mills has come on to speak to us. Welcome to the show Mills.

How are you today?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: you. I'm doing well. Thank you for having me. Um, it's an honor to be a part of the wrap up of the season, so I appreciate you for, uh, for having me today.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah, of course, of course. Uh, got in strong, started off strong with Dr. Jen Wright, Andy Strong too. Tell us the audience a little bit about yourself.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah. So one, again, my name is Kira Mills, AKA Mills. Um, so I am a licensed therapist and owner of Motivating Minds Mental Health Counseling, PLLC. [00:01:00] That is my private practice. I'm licensed both in Texas and Illinois, based here in Texas. Um, I'm from St. Louis, Illinois area. So

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: So I grew

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: uh, I always kind of say, um, I was born in Hawaii. Um, raised in Cali a little bit and, but jumped off the porch in St. Louis slash Illinois.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. I love that.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: So a

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: uh, growing up was back and forth from Cali and Illinois slash St. Louis. So, um, like more so of my years in Illinois slash St. Louis though, versus in California. So, um, so yeah, so outside of that, um. I do individual therapy, also do some group therapy here and there.

A lot of community wellness based events. Um, and of course now switching over into school contracts and stuff. So,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: That's awesome. And you and I always say, you know, when we met earlier, you said St. Louis. I'm like, that's Detroit's cousin. Right? Like

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Hey, everyone

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: everyone

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: me e even if [00:02:00] you watch my videos, I'm always saying, what up though? 'cause I got some cousins from Detroit,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: you said that.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: I'm always saying what up though. I've been like that since probably high school saying that.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. And you said, you said on like a fun note that you have some puppies, so tell us about that.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: I have two pups. Uh, a lot of everyone who knows me probably knows 'em, uh, honey, love and Ace. So

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Oh, yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Those are my, um, best broke friends that I can't claim on my taxes. But yeah, so those are my babies. So outside of my pups, you know, um. That's like a lot of my, uh, I spend a lot of time with them.

Um, I also ride my motorcycle as

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Okay.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: when I need some just therapy I guess in a sense.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: um, enjoying this Texas weather. But, but yeah, that's a little bit about, you know, me and kind of

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: What?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: leisure time outside a lot of self care.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. And we'll get into that too, for sure. 'cause you know, we always want to hear about how people take care of themselves. But let's just jump into it. Tell us about your journey [00:03:00] into education. How'd you know that education was for you?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah, so I didn't, um, we'll

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: hear that all the time on this show.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: We'll start there. Yes. Uh, it was

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: One.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: you know, tell God your plan. He gonna laugh at you

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Um, so I went into, I, I grew up playing basketball. Uh, that's just another piece about me, so point guard at that. Um, but, um. Doing nursing was always my backup plan.

Being a nurse anesthetist was always my backup plan if I didn't pursue basketball, and I made that decision to, um, like after my freshman year of high school, I stopped playing basketball. So I'm like, all right, I know whatever route I go is going to be in nursing. Um, so that is the route that I went undergrad.

Um, overall, you know. Freshman and undergrad 17 at that, um, emancipated from parents and my mom,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: I went buck wild. So, and my grades reflected that.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: so I was actually forced to switch my major. But [00:04:00] story short, in the midst of that, I, uh, began volunteering at, uh, after school, at risk youth program.

So just mentoring youth, helping them with their homework and stuff. It was a young black girl there, um, probably like middle school age. I was helping her with her homework, you know, during the times that I would visit. And, uh, she had reached honors for the first time. And what got me, uh, man, just think about this, like, because this just makes me tear up every time I think about this, but she was like, uh, she was super excited, but it wasn't because she. Uh, just let alone, you know, reach honors for the first time. What she said was, my mom's finally gonna love me. And that just, like I said, it may, it just makes me wanna tear up. Now I'm just thinking about it. But like, that just hit me. It was like, really one of those whoa moments. Like, the heck is really going on here?

You know? So, um, nonetheless, you know, I graduated from my program. [00:05:00] I, I had switched to public health at that point. nursing. Um, so, you know, still kind of did some, uh, got into CNA work just to still see if I wanted to do nursing. Um, one of my coworkers, 'cause I was still also working my high school job after I graduated and she was like, Hey, why don't you hop into this counseling program? Did that unknowingly, you know, I was applying for jobs, uh, forgot that I applied for this school position job and that's where it started. So, um, got into my, you know. Counseling program while working the school job. Um, and it literally just took off from there. So, um, it was just one of those, again, just, you know, I thought I wanted to do this.

God was like, yeah, no, let's, let's go this way.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah, I, I think about nausea, um, was on our show nursing at first and then went into education. Uh, yo you know, you said you was wild out, masturbated from your family, did everything, this, that, and the third. And so did you ever have a conversation. With any of your [00:06:00] family or community, like, no six's not for me.

I'm gonna do public health, nevermind. I'm gonna do this. Was there ever a conversation or you just like, I'm just going to, as long as I'm in school, it's good. How did that go?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah, no. So my up, um, it was always me, my nana, and my mom, um, when I officially moved back. So I moved from. My mom living with my mom, uh, going into my sophomore year of high school. So before my high school year started, I, uh, moved back permanently with my nana at the time so that she was in St.

Louis or Illinois area. So, all in all, I say all this just to give you a idea of like what my family dynamical advice. So, you know, my nana, my mom was like, yeah, as long as you going to school being successful. Obviously she wanted me to pursue nursing, you know, kind of living out her dream in a sense. Um, but, um, my nana, you know, she was proud of me nonetheless, regardless of what I was doing, you know, so, um, and then my dad, you know, he stayed

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: [00:07:00] St.

Louis like again, same thing, you know, my dad was super supportive of whatever route, you know, whatever major I was doing as well. So, um, so yeah. Um. They knew obviously what my freshman year looked like of just being emancipated and just kicking it.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Um, so that was kind of the setup for me too, though I would say that like more so when I went into my, went into undergrad. I had 18 credits as a freshman.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: think being emancipated 17, going into college, as you know, a 17-year-old and having 18 credits. I had multiple maths on top of multiple sciences. And then just the regular, you know, the rest of the regular gen ed class. And that was my first, you know, again, my whole first uh, year. So by the end of that year I'm like, know, they were like, yeah, you gotta do something else. 'cause it's not it. I'm

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Nonetheless, everybody was supportive and, you know, [00:08:00] um, you know, I realized that that just wasn't the path for me, so,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah, and it's interesting you said like, I had this job and I forgot about applying for this job, and then, right, and you're having this conversation with this. This little girl who now maybe is an adult, I'm assuming. Um, and, and when you first tell that story, I didn't expect you to say what you just said about, now my mom can love me.

Um, and so it's like so many things that lined up for you to go in the direction you went in. So you finished school.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Mm-hmm.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: after that? What was that first job? What was that like?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: so

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: um, finishing undergrad or finishing master's program.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: either one. That's whatever you wanna talk about.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: um, again, you know, when I finished my undergrad, that's when I was, um, just still trying to pursue. I jumped into, um. I went back to my high school job just to, you know, have some income. Um, 'cause obviously as everyone know, it's hard getting a job in your field as soon as you graduate, you [00:09:00] know?

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: I was working my high school job at Finish Line. Um, a lot of people back home probably

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Probably know.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: um,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: out. Shout out to the mall job. Shout out to finish line.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: know, hey, I, I'm slinging them shoes for sure. But, um.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Um.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: But yeah, so I was working still at Finish Line just to bring in some income while also, you know, pursuing, uh, my CNA certification to see, okay, do I still wanna do nursing? Um, like I said, that's when I, you know, my, obviously my coworker from Finish Line that I've known for several years was like, why don't you just hop into this counselor program? So that's what led to that. And, um, you know, I got into the counseling program. While in the counseling program, that's when I was applying for. You know, uh, counseling related jobs. Forgot I applied for the school. They reached out. Um, and I started that in 2016. So, um, yeah, so I had been working, I was a school therapist from 2016 all the way up until 2023. Um, [00:10:00] moved out here in Texas as well in 2022. So I was still the company back home. We partnered with a school out here in, in, uh, Dallas. So, um. was doing that alongside my private practice. I had my private practice since 2022, so my P practice was a baby, you know, at that

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Um, yeah, and you know, now obviously just doing my practice full-time. I've been full-time, my practice since 2023, so

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: And we'll talk about that. I'm not done with the, I'm not done with the first. My audience know I gotta get all the meat and cheese.

Yeah. So you, you were a a school counselor, school therapist for quite a while, and when we talked a while back, you were just telling me about like all the things that you saw in the school and like the, the need, um. And so I just wanted to hear from your perspective, because we have [00:11:00] all types of folks who come on in education, but from your perspective, what was that that you saw that was a need in your school?

What were some things that were inspirational, some things that were really challenging as you were going through those? You said 2017?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: 2016 of 2023.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: left St. Louis, uh, or left Illinois in 2022, so I was there 20. Uh, from 2016 to 2022, but still with that company. 'cause we partnered with a school out here in Dallas. So, um, just still as a school therapist with that same company

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. Yeah. So tell us about your experience and all that time that you were in with the kids.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah. So back home, um, um. I'm gonna just call my school mob, you know, uh, like literally just the acronyms for what we, you know, of what it the school name actually is. And those who know, they know, you know. So I worked in a behavioral school, a [00:12:00] private behavioral school.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Okay.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Um, so we kiddos in the area, um, could not go back to their schools.

Um, we took kiddos. We were the last stop, basically.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: these kiddos could literally, um, we didn't expel or suspend as well, so they can come back, you know, do whatever, X, Y, Z, still come back to school, let's just say the next day. Or if they had some type of consequence, couple days or whatever that looked like, right. Um, they could go to jail and still come back if they were still of age. You know, I think back then. I think they had up until their, like 21st birthday. Um, so again, these were kiddos with social, emotional and behavioral needs. So again, we took the quote unquote, um, or the worse

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Hmm

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Or the most challenging. Um, so that in itself, you know, it, it was obviously new, right? Um, I got adjusted to it, but it was still, [00:13:00] you know, a lot of, um, I. Just depleting days. Right.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Sure.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: and as we know, like in those type of environments, um, stretched thin here and there. Um, but with the school setting in general, for me, I see or saw that there, uh, I think this is common in school settings.

You know, there's a lot of politics that go behind the schools, um, or happen within the school settings. So, um. There was just, you know, and

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: And.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: when it goes to, when we talk about as far as just things that I did not align with, those are some of the things, just the organization structure of it at that time. Um, I would say, uh, within my pa my last couple years of leaving home, we had a organizational change in our building, so things like Blossom, right? But at that point, I was already. One foot out the door

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: was already up and, you know, ready to be planted [00:14:00] back down. And I had already started my relocation, all that.

So, um, had that, you know, been the case, like we had the organizational change in the beginning, I probably still would be there. But, um, so yeah, you know, there was just a lot of that. Um, I love, you know, my, my kiddos man, just the, um, the changes that I was. Seeing that I was, uh, the impact that I was seeing that I was having on those kiddos, such as that young girl, you know, that I worked with um, undergrad, you know, so that's what kept me planted.

Um, that's what kept me showing up in the school setting. I had, you know, some supportive coworkers as well, you know, we were a team, so,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm. Um,

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: so yeah, I, I definitely, the school setting always will have my heart, you know? For

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: yeah. Yeah. So I'm curious to know, you talked about the, some of the policies that didn't align with your own values. Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: What are some things that. As an educator that you said like, oh, this is not going to work, or This doesn't make sense for [00:15:00] our kids. Some examples that you may have.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah. And when I, you know, without getting like specific with that, more so, um. Um, let's just say when it comes to the benefit of what's, and like you somewhat just mentioned, what will work best with this kiddo as far as, let's just say behavioral change or, um, a lot of it too, you know, I think there was a lot of struggle of, yes, I get it.

We're in a school setting and academics has to be, you know, a priority, but at the same time, in. That type of school setting, sometimes we have to look at other things taken at priority, um, above academics at that point, you know,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Child.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: um, or for that day or for whatever that reason was, you know, for that student having that behavioral change.

So, you know, there's just some, you know, just kind confliction with that, of really looking deeper [00:16:00] into what's really going on with this kiddo, and hey, let's go this route, versus. The, you know, suggested, I don't know, kind of corporate route of

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: you know,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: They

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: where they want to go

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: wanna go.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: or with the parent or the resources and all of that.

So, um, yeah, just a lot of, and that's what, you know, again, just kind of prompted me to. outside of the school setting was just knowing that I can have that bigger impact or that deeper connection with kiddos, um, and their parents and give them those resources, um, outside of what I was able to do in the school setting.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah, and I appreciate you saying that. I, I'm, I'm curious too, to know a couple things. One, why private behavioral school versus like a, like, versus like a public school or some other space. So I'll start with that question. Why that space? And you were there in some, at the same org for a long time. So did you fall [00:17:00] into that job?

Did you, were you specifically looking for that type of work?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Oh, I don't even know what was running through my mind at that time of like, in my counseling program. Like I said, when I tell you I was just, Hey, like whatever on indeed. Um, you know, just looking for any counseling related position, I like, I don't even recall. I, I don't even think they probably even worded as behavioral 'cause I probably

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: yeah, no.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Um, but yeah, so I don't, I just don't really recall even applying for that actual school or position. Um, but obviously after getting into it, you know, because it didn't start off like that when I mind you, this school, um. was a part of opening up this school. So this

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Oh, okay.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: not open just yet.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Okay.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: um, we opened that August of 2016. so mind you, we started off with one kiddo, then two kiddos, and then probably like a good, maybe 10, you know? So again, things [00:18:00] as they eventually got to be,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Sure.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: in the beginning. So, and again, I think again, it just goes back to me. Having that deep connection and seeing what was really needed, um, and knowing that, okay, well how many other, black educators are in this building right now that can really, you know, or in this building in general.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: And then also, or that are in the. leadership

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: make that connection. So with me that observation, I knew, okay, this is where I possibly need to be at this time.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: you know, if, if, um, else is meant for me, then God will leave me there. So, um, so yeah, obviously I was planted there for a while,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think, you know, as you're talking about this and you're talking about the challenges and starting a school from the ground up, no matter what position that you're in, either [00:19:00] if you're a teacher, if you're a counselor, if you're anybody, it's, it's a huge push. So during that time, 'cause you mentioned self-care at the beginning of the show, during that time.

If you can remember, like what were some of the strategies that you used to take care of yourself, because I do remember you talking about it being, you know, in our other conversation,

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Mm-hmm.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: being quite stressful at times. So what were some things that you did to take care of yourself and were there, um, different policies or strategies that the, that your school used to emphasize you all taking care of yourselves?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: So let's start with that latter question because No, and I think

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: of schools now. You know, they, that wellness piece is missing, um, which is leading me again into the school contracts to implement that piece. But, so, no, um, outside of. Yeah, you all have these PTO days, but even again, when it comes to school setting, it's kind of frowned upon or you kind of question when you use your PTO, even though they

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: what. [00:20:00] Workload and all that and you know, just all of that that you're dealing with. So, I was very strategic with using my PTO, though I can say that now. Um, after so many, probably my first couple years in, I'm like, okay, I know what day, like what months that we don't really have any vacations. I'm gonna use PTO my PTO for around this time.

But, um, going back to just the self-care, um, I think I've always like self-care is just. I've, that's always been ingrained in me. Like I've always been, um, big on just pouring into myself. So some things I, I, I definitely, again, starting off in the mornings, you know, I'm, I'm grounding myself in my faith, you know, um, so I'm doing something spiritually, whether that's praying, talking to God, you know, listening to spiritual podcasts, um, making sure that I'm eating, you know, um, just taking my time as well in the morning.

'cause I, I feel like. regardless of whatever type of job or position that you work when we're waking up and we're just [00:21:00] straight on go mode and just in a rush, like you're already off, right? Um, just being intentional with my time, um, balance structure again, my faith, um, I don't think I got my pups until. A year later. Yeah, so I got them in 2017. So once I got them, I, you know, obviously started some different forms of self care, of walking, taking

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: on there. Uh, so that was, that's kind of what my decompression looked like, you know, um, after working, um, whatever day, taking 'em to parks and walks, but. Another big thing, which I feel like just a lot of, um, clinicians, therapists, counselors, you know, just teachers, all of that, you know, we struggle with, um, work at work, right. Especially in

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: had a real big boundary on that. So I think that really helped me because believe it there, like, and my employers knew like, [00:22:00] yes, I will probably say, Hey, y'all got me for about like maybe 15 minutes any day that y'all need me, or so, but other than that.

I'm taking no work home. I'm not, you know, I'm unreachable. You know, when I'm at home I'm like, I'm not getting paid for any of this. So, you know, so I had a real, real big boundary. Um, and I set that boundary from the get go of the interview and all of that. So it wasn't something that was just like one of those, oh, you know, just out of nowhere.

Like, nah, y'all knew who I

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah, so that's so interesting because you're talking, you're cheering, this is that you're coming in as a first year, like never have been experienced before. But you're saying I came in with boundaries and it seems like a lot of people on our show find those boundaries like you're talking about later, because they've been like pushed to the extreme or they've left a job and they learned a lesson from.

Whatever. How did you like you? How'd you come about like, these are the boundaries that I have from the get go. Where did that come from?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yes. [00:23:00] So one, um, I'm very big on just being aware of what my values are and I feel like that's something I also, just super side note, I work with my clients right off the bat, our very first session after the intake session. One of the things that we're doing is identifying their top core values, because I feel like when you are unaware of what your values are, you have no. GPS in life, right? You know,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: no guidance in your day to day decision making, all of that. So time is one of my biggest values. Um, you know, my values have changed over time,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: sure.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: over time, but just time. My health and wealth, those have always been my top three. You know, I try to stick to the top five, but um, time is like probably at the top, you know, so knowing what my values. Were, and you know, at that time, um, I hate to start keep on using time, but that is what, you know, obviously led me to that. So I feel like, you know. [00:24:00] If I can recommend anything to anyone, you know, reassess what your values are, um, you can literally use GBT, whatever that is, type in, hey, provide me with a whole list of core values, and try to identify what your top five are and figure out, you know, what are those action steps that you either need to maintain or improve on, you know, just on a daily, you know, basis and all of that, even in your work setting.

So that way you can start aligning with that value. So yeah,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: that, that, that can be, um. In a good, healthy space in a school setting.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: And I think this is so interesting because you are right, so many teachers, so many school counselors who, whatever you, when I educators get into a space of like, I have to do this for the kids, I gotta stay up for the kids. Everybody else is staying after work. Everybody else is taking work home.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: there isn't this conversation.

Either in the university or some program or through a mentor. There's no conversation before that about values, about boundaries, about wellness.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Mm-hmm.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: people [00:25:00] kind of fall upon these things

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: when they're stretched thin. And so it's really interesting that you're talking about like, no, when I was at Finish Line, I was telling that, right?

Like it's always been important to you. And so. I'm just gonna reiterate for the audience that if you don't know what your values are, if you've never written them down and looked at 'em and studied them, I am agreeing with Mills a hundred percent in saying, yeah, write those down. Think about those, you know, cross a mile, add to them until you really are clear about where you are in your life right now and like what your values are.

And like you're saying, are you living those values out? Because there's one thing to say like, oh, this is who I am. But if no one else would be able to say like, yeah, that's true, I could see that, that's Then are you really living those full out? You know? So thank you for sharing that.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: yes, yes, yes. Most definitely. Most definitely.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: free jam for y'all.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: I appreciate that you keep them, keep them gyms going.

So, [00:26:00] so you, you, like you said, like I decided to leave my one foot was out the door, one foot was in the door. They changed policy and things were really going well, but it was kind of too late for me. Um, what were some things that helped you decide it was like time to do something different? Not necessarily leave therapy and counseling, but time for you to try to move out of the education realm in that capacity.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah, so there were several factors that played a part in that. Um, so kind of going back to just personal about me, um, like I mentioned going back to family dynamics, is it always had been me, my nana, and my mom. Um. My younger brother, he didn't come around. I was, uh, 14 when my mom had him, so he was like there, but he wouldn't, he was still the baby.

So

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah, of course. Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: back around my dad until I was nine. But, um, and again, like I said, when I permanently moved, uh, with my nana, so I'm giving you this context because, um, my mom was the only one living in California. She still lives [00:27:00] in California. All the rest of my family, my nana, my dad, St.

Louis, Illinois, right? So, um, I was living with my nana. Back home in Illinois this whole time. And, um, nana passed the weekend of me this job in 2016.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Uh, she passed like that Thursday, Friday. Started the job Monday. Right. Um,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: this the context of this, she also lived Cat Corner across the street from the job, from the school that I was working at. So like literally, um. Literally across the street

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: in plain view where her house is. Um, so, and then my dad unexpectedly passed in 2021. So like I mentioned, you know, I left the school, I relocated in 2022. So like I mentioned earlier, I had, you know, already started, you know, just kind of getting burnt out from the. Job [00:28:00] itself, um, or the, you know, every, just everything going on with the job. So by that point, my dad had passed. So, um, there was also opportunity where, um, like our CEO, he had came down, or the son of our CEO came down, um, which he visited our building very frequently. And, um. I had asked him, I'm like, you know, this was before my dad had passed, I believe, and I had asked him, I'm like, you know, have y'all ever, you know, considered opening up a school in Texas?

'cause I was just, you know, thinking of relocation in general. I'm like, have y'all ever opened? Consider opening a school. He was like, actually, we're visiting a school right now. That's kind of mirrored, you know. Well we do, and that's obviously the company that I transitioned to or, you know, uh, joined when I moved down here.

So was kind of in the works, uh, prior to my dad unexpectedly passed in December of 2021. So once he did pass, mind you, that was like my main reason in general even staying, um, my nana, my dad staying [00:29:00] after I graduated my counseling program. 'cause you know. I just enjoyed obviously being with them, you know, being around him.

So, um, once they passed, like, or he passed, they both passed. I'm like, I just felt like it was nothing left, things wasn't really going well with the school setting it, or for me. Um, I felt like I wasn't really, I growing, shall I say, um, and had room for growth. So, and then also it was just at some point a milestone for me to eventually open up my private practice.

Um, so. With that opportunity. I saw the opportunity of relocating here to Dallas was trying to just stick to my, you know, milestone goal of opening my practice. I did that actually during my grieving period, uh, because that was also a thing I'd already set in stone. Okay. I'm gonna open up my practice January, 2022.

Like I said, my dad passed December, 2021, so I stuck to that plan. Uh, did that, you know, by that point, you know, [00:30:00] um, they had. Start solidifying everything with the school out here in Dallas and it, it just went from there. So I, you know, relocated did the, you know, my whole little plan of, okay, I'm gonna work for this school for a year just to, you know, get on my feet out here. Um, and jumped up time in my practice. So, just overall, you know, after kind of just sticking to the plan and like I said, just unexpectedly, some of those things happen in between time, that just really pushed me to just move forward with that.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Um, even the getting up and moving from one state to the other, it's like we're, we're throwing out a lot about you. You are like, listen, I said this, I do this. I, I get it. I hope PI hear that and I hope that the folks listening there are taking notes because. You said, listen, pops is going to the great buy and bye I'm, he would want me to finish doing this.

I'm gonna finish this out. I'm gonna see this through. [00:31:00] I'm gonna just like, you know, I'm gonna give it a year. Um, and it's so important. I know that so many people, they kind of get like, well, you know, I don't know, maybe I changed my mind. It's really going well. And then end up later on sometimes a lot of times regretting like, I should have moved to Texas.

I should have did this.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: yeah,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: so glad that you like, no, I'm sticking to the plan. I'm doing what I need to do. Yeah. So thinking back about in your time, um, in the traditional education space, um, and I, we didn't talk about if you were with other black educators when you were there, but if you were, if you weren't either way, what do you think that schools, districts, organizations, like the one you were in, could do to retain black educators?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah, most definitely. Um, so one, let me actually, I just wanna go back and add one thing 'cause I, I

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: viewers to one. Um, just to clarify, I going back to that, that time period, um, I did, do, you know, 'cause I practice what I preach, I did grief counseling as well, you know, during that timeframe. So, um, some people [00:32:00] may, you know, look at okay when you stick in certain things, especially during grieving, like it's a form of attraction.

But,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: wanna clear that up. So I'm

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Thank you.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: like. Hey, no. You know, be sure that, you know, even if things do pop up for you, whatever, you know, you're, you're, uh, still taking care of yourself or healing from whatever it is. So, I just wanna clear that up. Um, I did actively do grief counseling during that time.

Um, as well as, uh, just stayed grounded in my faith with God. Like I kept God for, I've always kept, you know, God like, yeah, psyched off here and there as we all do, but, um, you know, lean heavily, you know, in, in my faith and stuff as well. So that's all another thing that's, that just helped me push through with that.

But, um,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Wait, wait. So I, I appreciate you saying that because you're right. People can be like, oh wow, she just pushed on through her dad passed. That's why. And you know what? You're absolutely right, and I'm glad you said that because we do need to take time to grieve and whatever that looks like, counseling group sessions, like in your faith.

And so I'm so glad that you cleared that up. So thank you.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: yeah. [00:33:00] And took time off of work too.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. Oh, so important.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: yes, yes. But yeah, to go back to your question, so with the black educators, what, what schools can be doing now, um, or just in general with, to retain black educators? Let's start off with. Compensation and pay in, no, no particular order. But that is very big as we already know.

You know, a lot of black educators are not paid the same as, um, other, you know, races. Um, so I think it's just very important to ensure equal pay across the board. But most importantly, another thing is, um, leadership roles. I didn't, I, I didn't have a black educator as a, a. Teacher or whatever, until I got into my ma my, uh, master's program.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Um, I've never had a black teacher until that point. So I think that is very important, especially when you have kiddos in the school

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: School setting.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: that are a part of that culture. Like they need someone [00:34:00] that is relatable. So having, um, putting those black educators in leadership roles, the compensation and pay, another important thing, going back to the wellness. Making sure that, um, we're prioritizing and they're prioritizing wellness, uh, wellness and support those educators. So ensuring they are, you know, encouraging PTO, um, ensuring that they're also doing like one-on-one meetings or check-ins or reviews with those educators. That's one thing I really value when I to this school setting that we, or to the school that we partner here in Dallas, because they. Implemented that in their, um, in their school. And I felt like that was just very important. It really gave, uh, to the ground, you know, um, type, you know,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: for

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: For

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: I feel like that's very important, you know, in any school just to really those pieces. Um, and [00:35:00] you know, overall, I feel like once those things are implemented, you know, black educators won't just, you know, um. Survive, but they'll thrive, you know,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: me, yeah. School setting.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: school setting. So,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. This, the idea of the prioritizing wellness and support is really huge because just thinking back about where you were supporting youth,

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: this is not a, a regular K five elementary school, this is like, a lot is happening. The students are experiencing a lot of trauma.

They've come in with a lot of tr like there's a lot of things happening. Right. And to say, like you said it, oh, we just had regular PTO like everybody else,

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: and there was no. Emphasis on like as a group, let's do these things to take care of ourselves. Let's have these conversations. And so there we have to make sure, and I love this, putting the onus back on admin, obviously ourselves first, because we can't control what the people do.

But when we talk about this compensation, leadership roles, prioriti, [00:36:00] prioritizing, wellness and support, and one-on-one check, one-on-one check-ins. It's so important, this wellness piece, because folks, you could pay folks lots and lots of money, but if they're not well, they're still going to leave.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: most definitely. Most definitely. And

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: you know, our, our school, uh, back home, like I said, we opened 2016, so probably that October is when. Um, just everyone was in and out the door. Like retention was not the case until, like I said, that organizational change. When did that happen? Probably like 20, 21 when

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: So, so years later, years later,

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: So, you know, you're

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: we were talking about.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: even with, um, and that was just another thing for me stepping out because that school, you know, with that type of setting and environment of kiddos that we work with, you know. We can never keep, you know, obviously staff and especially, [00:37:00] uh, clinicians long term.

So I work with the high school students, um, but obviously we had kiddos K through 12, so you know, them babies, them babies in the middle school. I don't know, you know, my heart is to any elementary, middle school therapist. You know, y'all definitely had y'all hands full. But I say all that to say like there was, it was just the norm. Like out of a school year, probably for 80% of that school year, I'm probably working a different role, such as like the detention room for the high school students, because again, we couldn't keep anyone in there because that, that just school in general, you know, was not for the week. Right. Those kids would chew you up literally, verbally, all like, you know, so, and just the, you know, again, the organizational stuff, all of that.

So. Um, so yeah, you know, I think it's just important to, going back to what you were saying, like just to really ensure that wellness piece is in [00:38:00] play and they're also just encouraging mental, you know, which is part of the PTO. But mental health days, that's actually something that, uh, was like a law back home in Illinois where um, I think, I don't know if it was St.

Louis as well, but for sure back home in Illinois within the past couple years, they, um, implemented. Mental health days for students.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Oh, oh, okay.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Not sure why they have not, you know, like, I don't know why the staff have not, you know, uh, picked up on that. 'cause obviously if the students need it, you think the staff, you know,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: know, and all that.

So yeah, it's, the wellness piece is very, very important. You know?

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much for that. Um, and I think I'm gonna ask some other questions around wellness and Well, I'll, I'll wait till we, till we get to like, what are you doing now? But before that I wanna ask, you just said I hadn't, I didn't have a black educator until, till grad school, until my master's program, um.

But I'm hoping [00:39:00] that you can answer the next question for us, which is, is there, uh, a black educator that you would like to shout out?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: man. Listen, this is my time to shine. Uh, you know how we gonna the BT awards, you got everybody shout

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Shout out.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: but no one, I'm gonna start off definitely with, um, you know, rest rehearsal, my high school counselor. So, uh, actually that's where I would say I would go back with, uh, um, she wasn't obviously my teacher, but she was the first

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Sure,

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: you know, so high school, uh, Beville East, um, miss, miss Shell Hill, you know, rest her soul.

Um, if it was not for her, I, I don't know what college would've looked like for me or if I would've went to college. And it wasn't a thing that I didn't have people in my ear, such as my nano or my mom telling me to go to college. But like I said, you know. was kind of the backup plan. It was just like, uh, my heart wasn't really in it, but hey, this just always been a plan if I didn't pursue basketball.

So it's just like, don't really wanna go to college for this, you know? So if I didn't have her in my ear, like in helping me, [00:40:00] literally sitting me down doing applications for schools, I, don't know where I would be, you know? Um, so like I said, definitely, um, give a lot of thanks to Ms. Hill. Um. Dr. Martin, that's my grad, uh, um, professor.

So definitely like, he kind of helped me, I wouldn't say helped me, but he definitely just me. Um. Indirectly of just to, it's okay to be my authentic self in the school building. And I say that to say like, I, I stepped in the classroom, you know, the first day of class and this man had on Louis v top to bottom, you know, a purple, uh, collar shirt to represent the cues, you know, um, task just all out.

I'm like, oh, okay. And mind you, school like predominantly. At least that school setting, like predominantly white, you know,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: and stuff like that. So to see him and just see him be his au [00:41:00] authentic self, um, I'm like, okay. You know? Yeah. So shout out to Dr. Martine, district 180 9, everyone else in back home. Um, and then as far as definitely my coworkers, um, in the school setting back home as well. Um. Those who I still keep in contact. You know, we definitely held each other together, you know, just all those years. Um, there is a. Counselor here, um, at the school that I, you know, transitioned to out here. Um, definitely, you know, shout out to her as well for, she basically kind of just was dealing with the same stuff or, you know, was me, um, in the school that she's working, uh, with now.

So, uh, so yeah, definitely, you know, if, if anything, what I could say just to the black educators in general, you know, going, um, definitely. Y'all are doing work, you know, y'all are doing the unseen work and making impacts, um, on these students. And you know, again, even though you're not being acknowledged for it, [00:42:00] you're definitely, you know, doing some work with these kiddos and they need us.

So definitely.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Thank you. Uh, so what are you doing now? You kind of gave us a little sneak peek in the very beginning and we got the gist, but tell us about what you're doing now.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah. So now, um, I am transitioning from like a full. Caseload of individual clients. I'm always gonna have a small caseload, probably like five or so is my goal. Um, 'cause that's always gonna be a part of me too, right? Just like the school is. But I'm trying to transition back into the school setting.

Obviously not the nine to five, but trying to. Reach the pyramid of the school. That's, again, that really needs to be touched on. Um, so again, implementing just the wellness piece into schools for and doing trainings and stuff with the staff, the students, and most importantly the parents. So just bringing that wellness piece into the, you know, into the school setting. Um, and just. Really trying to help with retention, [00:43:00] burnout, um, obviously student performance, all of that, helping with the parent connection. You know, I don't feel like there's a lot of resources for them to really build on that connection and really know or, um, know what's really going on with their students or how to connect with their students, you know, at home, which obviously impacts. The students, you know, performance when they're at school. So, um, so yeah, that's, that's mainly what I'm working towards is the school contracts. I also just gained, um, eligibility to be a LPC supervisor, so I'll be taking on a team of interns, um,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: associates starting some time next year just to help the next generation, you know, help train them and, um. Yeah. You know, just, just keep this, keep this, uh, this momentum going. You

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Yeah. I, so my, since you have so many gems to give us for, for, you know, you said I, um, you wanna help parents connect [00:44:00] with students better with their students better. Can you give us one or two ideas for folks who are listening, who have teens or middle schoolers like myself who are like, you know, my connection with my child is really strong right now, but I know in high schools it might be tough or I've lost connection with my kid and I really wanna get that back.

Do you have anything that you can advise them to do to support that relationship?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah, most definitely. One. You know, just keep your ears and eyes open like, um, and what I mean by that is attention to any changes or behaviors that you're seeing with them. Um, also. Just try to avoid the closed-ended questions, right? The normal, how was your day? You know, of course, kids, they're, they're gonna say the same thing.

How was cool? You know, whatever that they're, they're gonna brush it off. Um, so try to do more of those open-ended questions, really just diving deep into, you know, what, how their day's really going or what's new, all of that. So, um. You know, and also just try to [00:45:00] be intentional with that quality time with them too. Um, if you aren't already Right. And I, what I mean by this is like making it a norm where you're either doing something on a daily or a weekly, be basis with them. And it doesn't have to mean where like you're actually going out somewhere, but just spending some type of time, five minutes, 10 minutes, just sitting down, you know, just. Whatever that looks like. Um, I don't know if y'all have ever heard, but, uh, of this before, but you know, a lot of kids, the way that they spell love is time. You know, so, um, just being very mindful and intentional with that. So, um, and if not, like, and this is what I saw in the school setting, you know, when those kiddos don't get that love and that time at home, they're gonna search elsewhere. You know? Right. Um, and obviously the area that I come from or come from and was working in, you know, that's where they reaching out to the gangs, they reaching out to the drugs, they reaching out, you know, all of that. So it's just like be very [00:46:00] intentional with time, you know, be very intentional with connection.

Be very intentional with just those open-ended, um, questions.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Teenagers and kids Spell love. Say that again. How you TIME?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: kids spell love is time. TIME.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: That is profound.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Um, so our last question, and you already talked about how you take care of yourself.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: is not, this is not a mystery, but expound on it if you want to. For you, what does it mean to be well?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah, man, this is broken up into a few different things for me. So, um, you know, particular order too, like just one being your authentic self, right? Um, balance and boundaries. That's probably like. I say no particular order, but that's probably the biggest [00:47:00] you know, ones for sure. Having those, having those boundaries, having that balance.

The balance is the structure, the organization, the routine, you know, all of that. Um, the self-care falls into play with all of that as well. Um. So balancing boundaries, um, being your authentic self. I can't say enough, and I keep on saying that in no particular order, but this is probably at the top as well.

Just whatever spiritual beliefs, religious beliefs that you have, whatever that looks like for you. You know, for me, I am grounded in my faith and you know, with God, I have various, you know, just different ways that I'm connecting with God, church, listening to podcasts, prayer, you know, reading devotionals, all of that, you know, um, very mindful of just what my social media looks like, all of that, you know?

So just being mindful to just what you're feeding yourself on a daily basis. Um. Taking care of yourself holistically. So I also, again, break [00:48:00] self-care down into five different categories. So mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, um, and socially as well. You know, financially can be a part of that as

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Mm-hmm.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: holistically taking care of yourself.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Thank you.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yeah.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: And if folks wanna work with you, if schools are interested in contracting with you and learning more about what you do, where could they find you?

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Yes,

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: It step

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: one, you can definitely find me on my website, uh, at motivating minds counseling.com. I have a contact button there. You can definitely reach out to me

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: easier.

khiara-mills-aka--mills---she-her-_2_11-09-2025_110849: Um, I am on social media, so underscore motivating meals. That is on Instagram, TikTok, also LinkedIn as well. So I have, um, again, a link on all of those sites to, uh, connect with me and, um, do a brief meet and greet and we, we can see how we can just make this, um, create this space in the school settings and just make this impact and change, you know, just the whole dynamic of [00:49:00] everything for the benefit of the students, the staff, and you know, the parents.

dr--asia-lyons--she-her-_2_11-09-2025_100850: Awesome. Thank you so much, mills. All right folks. I want y'all reaching out. We need to that like kids spell love, TIME. Listen, if that don't get you to start clicking on the our website, like come on now. Um. So, yeah, so thank you so much for coming on, sharing your story. Um, definitely were, this was like a great wrap up to season five.

You all take care of yourselves and obviously Mill is gonna take care of herself and I'm gonna do the same. Have a great rest of your day. All right, peace.